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Orgasm Disorder  

If you have a vagina and have trouble orgasming, it can make you feel frustrated, sad or worried about what is happening to your body. Orgasm disorder is very common – and it’s treatable. Speak with one of our experts about your options today. 

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What is orgasm disorder? 

Orgasm disorder happens when you don’t have orgasms, it takes a long time for you to orgasm, you have orgasms less often than you’d like, or your orgasms aren’t as strong as you would like, and you feel sad, or worried about it.  

Orgasm disorder is one of the most common sexual problems in people with vaginas. About 10% to 15% of people with vaginas have never had an orgasm, and up to one-half of people with vaginas report they are not satisfied with how often they reach orgasm. 

How do I know if I am having or my partner is having orgasms or not?

An orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal. Every person’s body is different, but there are a few physical signs of an orgasm for people with a vagina.

The most noticeable sign is a very intense, pleasurable feeling in your genitals and throughout your body. The muscles in your vagina, as well as your anus, contract (squeeze) about once per second, 5-8 times. Your heart rate and breathing levels also go up.  It’s common for your vagina to get really wet before and during an orgasm. It’s also possible for a different fluid to squirt or dribble out of your vulva before or during an orgasm (this is sometimes called female ejaculation, or squirting). 

Right after an orgasm, your clitoris or the glans (head) of your penis can feel very sensitive or uncomfortable to touch. You may have “sex flush” — your chest, neck, and face change color for a short amount of time. Orgasms release endorphins (feel-good hormones), so you might feel sleepy, relaxed, and happy afterwards.

Causes of orgasm disorder can include:

  • Menopause
  • Recently being pregnant, giving birth, or breastfeeding
  • Low sex hormone levels
  • Problems with blood flow or the nerves in your sex organs
  • Health problems like cancer, diabetes, heart problems, multiple sclerosis, or bladder problems
  • Medicines like antidepressants, blood pressure medicines, and chemotherapy
  • Anxiety or depression
  • Relationship problems
  • Issues with your body image
  • Stress
  • Tiredness
  • Sexual abuse or trauma in your past

What causes orgasm disorder?

Having an orgasm involves lots of things — your hormones, physical health, emotions, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, and relationships. Problems with any of these can affect your ability to have an orgasm.

Are there orgasm disorder treatments?

Medical Treatments

Medical orgasm disorder treatments include:

  • Estrogen — A ring, cream, or tablet that you put in your vagina (if you’re in menopause). This can make the muscles in your vagina stronger and stretchier, increasing blood flow and wetness.
Lifestyle Choices

 In addition to seeking medical treatment for arousal disorder, the following lifestyle choices may help improve the symptoms of arousal disorder:

  • Reducing stress to improve your mood through things like getting more sleep, meditation, and breathing exercises
  • Limiting alcohol and stopping smoking and using drugs
  • Exercising regularly
  • Talking with a counselor who specializes in sex and relationship problems
Other Options

You or your partner can also try:

  • Kegel exercises - these can increase blood flow and feeling to your genitals
  • Talking with your partner about your likes and dislikes sexually
  • Exploring porn (movies, magazines, websites, or other entertainment) that brings you sexual pleasure
  • Masturbating, possibly with vibrators or other sex toys if that feels good
  • Using lubricants (if you’re using condoms, choose a water-based lubricant)
  • EROS Therapy Device:  A hand-held device for vulvas with a small plastic cup. It improves blood flow to your genitals to increase vaginal wetness and help you have orgasms.

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