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I’ve recently lost my virginity, and Ive had sex about 8 times and it still hurts. Not as excruciating as the first two times, but how long til it starts feeling better? Is this abnormal?

One of the biggest reasons why you may have pain or irritation during vaginal sex is that your vagina is not lubricated (wet) enough. But, it’s totally normal to not have a lot of vaginal lubrication, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your partner. 

To make sex feel more comfortable, it may help to wait until you’re fully turned-on before putting anything in your vagina. Foreplay can help with this. Using plenty of lube can also help make sure that sex feels good to you. If you’re using condoms, choose a water or silicone-based lubricant - oil-based lube can make condoms break.

It’s really important for you and your partner to communicate about your preferences, and for you to tell your partner if anything hurts — sex should never be uncomfortable for you. Sex can be a lot about trial and error — figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t, what feels good and what you don’t like. Everyone has different preferences for how they like to be sexual with someone. Masturbation can be helpful to figure out what you like and don’t like. It may also help to wait to have sex until you have a partner who really excites you and helps you enjoy it, and who you feel comfortable talking openly with.  

In the meantime, check out our page on sex and pleasure. And, if you’re having pain during sex that doesn’t go away, talk with a doctor or nurse, like the ones at your local Planned Parenthood health center.

Tags: sex, virginity, pleasure

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