Having a Healthy Relationship

How do I know if my relationship is healthy?

When a relationship is healthy, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/bae/whatever feel good about the relationship most of the time. And a healthy relationship makes you both feel good about yourselves.

If you're wondering whether your relationship is solid, here are some things to think about:

Respect

• Do you listen to each other?

• Do you treat each other like friends?

• Are you proud of each other?

• Are you kind to each other?

Trust

• Are you both cool with spending time apart from each other?

• Do you feel secure about the relationship?

• Do you have faith in each other's decisions?

Honesty

• Do you both admit when you're wrong?

• Do you both feel like you can tell the truth?

• Do you talk openly about your feelings, even when it’s hard?

Equality

• Do you both get to make decisions about your relationship and how you spend your time?

• Do you give and take equally?

• Do you both compromise?

• Do you consider both people’s feelings when talking and making decisions?

Good Communication

• Do you talk about your feelings with each other?

• Can you disagree about something without disrespecting each other?

• Do you listen to each other without judging?

What if my relationship isn’t healthy?

Nobody’s relationship is perfect, and people make mistakes. But if you feel like you’re being treated badly, you probably are. Listen to your gut. Healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself — unhealthy relationships don’t.

Lying, cheating, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control your boyfriend/girlfriend, even if it’s out of jealousy and even if they say they do it because they love you. Controlling behavior includes things like checking the other person’s phone without permission, keeping track of everything they do on social media, or telling them who they can or can't hang out with.

If you think your relationship is unhealthy, talk about it. Sometimes you can help fix things by talking out your feelings and making changes to how you treat each other. If you feel unsafe or scared to talk about it, or you’ve tried talking and things aren’t getting better, it might be time to end the relationship. It can be hard, but you — and everyone else — deserve a relationships that’s healthy, with someone who treats you with respect. Learn more about unhealthy and abusive relationships and how to get out of them.