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Good sex comes from understanding how your body works. Everyone likes different things when it comes to sex, so don’t worry about whether you’re “normal.”

How do people have sex?

Sex isn’t one size fits all. What feels good to you might not be right for someone else. Everyone’s different when it comes to sexual behaviors and desires, but here are some common kinds of sexual activity:

  • masturbating alone or with a partner 

  • oral, vaginal, and anal sex

  • kissing

  • rubbing your bodies together

  • using sex toys

  • phone sex or “sexting”

  • reading or watching porn

  • sex talk, or “talking dirty” during sex

People get turned on by different things, so communicating about what you like or don’t like lets your partner know what’s OK and what’s off limits.

Is sex good for you?

Having a healthy sex life is good for you both emotionally and physically. Sex can help you create a connection with another person, and sexual pleasure has lots of health benefits — whether you’re with a partner or not. When you have an orgasm, your body gives you a natural high. You release endorphins, which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good.

There are lots of other health benefits associated with sexual pleasure:

  • better general health

  • better sleep

  • better self-esteem

  • better fitness

  • less stress and tension

  • a longer life

How often do people have sex?

There’s no amount of sex that’s considered “normal” — everyone’s different. How often you have sex depends on a lot of things, like whether you have a partner, what else is going on in your life, and how strong your sex drive (your desire to have sex) is.

People have different sex drives. Your own sex drive can change based on things like stress, medications you take, and other physical, emotional, and lifestyle factors. Some people want to have sex every day or more than once a day, and some people hardly ever want to have sex. People who don't experience any sexual attraction for anyone may call themselves asexual.

How can I have a healthy sex life?

Having a healthy sex life is about taking care of yourself, whether you have a partner or not. Physically, that means practicing safer sex, getting tested for STDs regularly, preventing unintended pregnancies, and seeing a doctor or nurse if you have a sexual disorder or any other health problems.

Feeling good about your body, enjoying sexual pleasure, being comfortable with your sexual orientation and gender identity, and having healthy relationships are also big parts of healthy sexuality. Having a healthy sex life means knowing what you do and don’t want to do sexually and being able to communicate that to your partners. Your partner should respect your boundaries, and you should respect theirs.

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