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 I dated this guy for the summer. He lives in one state and I live in another. When he left my home state at the end of the summer to go back home we had a falling out and haven’ spoke since except when I told him happy birthday; he responded with thanks kels which is my nickname and that was all the communication between us. I will soon be passing through his home state, will it be okay to text him when I am passing through just to see how he is doing? It still bothers me with the way things ended between us and I really want to know how he has been but I don’t know if I should contact him or not. What should I do? How should I approach him if I do text him?

It’s totally normal for you to want to know how he’s doing, especially since you guys didn’t end things on the best of terms and haven’t been in touch for a while. Even if things ended really badly last summer, it sounds like you’ve both had some time to cool off and let things blow over.

Try playing out all the possible outcomes in your head, and think about how each one would make you feel. If you texted him to say you’re in his state and want to know how he’s doing, how would you feel or act if he responded with something really brief, like last time? What if he responded asking to hang out? What if he didn’t respond at all? How would you feel if you didn’t text him? Would you definitely regret it, or would it feel like a safer option?

Thinking about this stuff can give you a better sense of what you want — maybe you just want to know how he’s doing, maybe you want to revisit what you guys had together, maybe there are some loose ends you want to tie up. Knowing what you want will make things easier for you and clearer for him. Good luck!

Tags: breaking up, dating, texting