What is sexual and reproductive control?

What should I do if my partner pressures me for sex?

You always have the right to say no to sex. Sexual control is pressuring a partner to do things they don’t want to do sexually. It can happen to anyone of any gender or sexual orientation.

Here are some examples of sexual control in relationships:

• trying to get your partner to do something they don’t want to do sexually

• threatening to break up with someone if they don’t have sex with you

• having sex with someone who is too drunk to high to consent to having sex

• forcing someone to have sex

Some people think if they’re in love, or if they’re married, they can’t say no to sex. But that’s not true. No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, if you’re forced to have sex, it’s rape. If you’re forced to do something else sexually, it’s sexual assault. 

You don’t deserve to be treated this way. Read more about abusive relationships and how to end them safely. 

What if my partner is pressuring me to get pregnant?

Pressuring a partner to get pregnant or messing with birth control to cause a pregnancy is called reproductive control. It’s never OK.

Everyone should be able to decide if and when they get pregnant, cause a pregnancy, and have children — without pressure or being manipulated by a partner.

Here are some examples of reproductive control:

• refusing to wear a condom, or pressuring your partner not to use one

• hiding or throwing out birth control

• taking off or breaking condoms to try to cause a pregnancy

• lying about using birth control

• threatening a partner who doesn’t want to get pregnant

• forcing a partner to have an abortion or carry a pregnancy to term

If any of these things happen to you, understand that you deserve better. Learn about what makes a relationship unhealthy and how to get out of an abusive relationship. 

You can contact your local Planned Parenthood health center to get birth control, STD testing, PrEP, PEP, and other services. If you’re afraid your partner is messing with your birth control, you have options that are more private and that you can control better, like the IUD, the shot, and the implant.