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i let my boyfriend finger me but later on the day he told his friends and made a rude,disgusting joke about my vagina. Now i feel completely stupid and insecure. How can i overcome this and feel comfortable about myself again??

There is absolutely no excuse for that. The more people feel the need to brag and make fun of their sexual experiences, the more insecure they probably are.

There are folks who actually think that that kind of behavior will make them seem more desirable, as if they believe it pays to advertise that they are sexually experienced. Of course, they are also advertising the fact that they are being jerks. They just don’t have much concern about the privacy, feelings, and comfort of the people they say they care about. And they’re certainly not going to attract loving and caring people with such behavior.

Being mean is a form of emotional abuse, and it’s not a sign of a healthy relationship. The basic qualities of a healthy, loving relationship include

  • respect
  • trust
  • honesty
  • fairness
  • equality
  • good communication

These are not the qualities of relationships in which one partner abuses the other with public ridicule. Some teens find it helpful to evaluate their relationship to see if it’s good for them. You may want to ask yourself, “Does my partner respect me? Do I respect him? Do I trust him? Is he always honest with me? Am I always honest with him? Do we treat each other fairly and equally?”

You might want to talk with someone you trust about your boyfriend’s behavior. Sometimes having an outsider’s perspective is helpful. And sometimes, as hard as it can be, it’s best to throw in the towel and recognize when a relationship might be more trouble than it’s worth.

Tags: healthy relationships, sex