What parents can do to help prevent teen dating violence

There’s nothing we want more than to keep our kids safe. That can feel difficult during the teen years, when they’re less open and parents and caregivers don't always know what's going on. Still, we want to protect them and make sure they don't hurt others. 

But how? To mark Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, observed each February, let’s talk about safe relationships Here are some ways to help prevent your teen from being in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, on either side.

1. Talk regularly about what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Discuss it from both angles: making sure they know how to be respectful, and knowing how they deserve to be treated. This works best as an open conversation. Ask for their thoughts on what is and what isn't healthy. Then share your values and opinions. You can tap into pop culture — music, TV, or movies — to start a conversation about a relationship you're seeing or listening to. You can ask questions like “What do you think about how they treat each other or how they settle disagreements?” 
2. The social media and other technology our kids use can breed isolation. Try to create space to get to know your teen’s friends and potential dating partners. Encourage your teen to  invite them over to hang out, share a meal or watch a movie so you can get a sense of their values — and maybe drive them home to grab some time to talk with them. Make sure your teen seems comfortable and safe with these relationships.
3. Talk about privilege and power dynamics in relationships, and consider your teen’s identities — like sexual orientation, gender, race, etc. — and other factors like social or economic status. Healthy relationships are rooted in equality, respect, and trust. If your teen holds privilege in some ways (because of their identity, they’re more popular, etc.), they’ll need to understand and address that in the relationship and help things be more equal. This might look like letting their partner take the lead on certain decisions (like where it feels good and safe to go on a date), or having open conversations that address this privilege and what would make their partner feel safe and valued.

Check out Love Is Respect for more tips on what healthy relationships look like, and how to talk about them.