For a host of possible reasons, over the past couple of decades kids have started to get their periods younger than ever before — sometimes as early as second grade. Regardless of their gender or their body parts, it’s important to begin talking with your child about periods sooner than later. Teaching them the basics around why periods happen, before they start happening, will help them feel more prepared. And solid information may also help break stigma and shame about natural body functions. Here are some things to keep in mind for these conversations to help guide you.
Talk to all kids about periods. Everyone should learn about how the human body works. All kids — of all genders — need to know about periods: Talking about periods helps our kids understand bodies, puberty, and pregnancy. And treating periods as a normal topic of conversation helps break down period shame in our culture.
Talk about what periods mean. Share any cultural significance about periods, which can be a powerful moment of family connection. You can also talk about what getting a period means biologically — how getting your period means you now have the ability to get pregnant from penis-in-vagina sex. A great place to start is to watch this video from AMAZE together, and ask your kid what questions they have.
Be clear about what periods DON’T mean, too. Let them know they can still enjoy their childhood and the playful activities that come with it. Avoid equating getting your period with “being a woman.” The physical ability to become pregnant has little to do with maturity. Also, there are plenty of women who don’t get periods (because of medical reasons or because they’re transgender or intersex), and there are nonbinary folks and trans men who get periods, too.
Talk about what’s normal. You can talk about how it’s really common for people to have PMS symptoms, a range of light to heavy flow, and some cramps. You can prepare your kid for these things so that they understand what’s happening to their body. It’s a good idea to start having these conversations when they’re in elementary school, around age 7 or 8, in case your kid has their first period on the early side. And encourage putting a change of underwear and other period essentials in their backpack.
Talk about what’s NOT normal. Make sure your kid knows that they don’t have to suffer through extreme mental or physical effects of their period — ones that get in the way of their ability to focus at school or do normal activities. Let them know they can come to you if they feel depressed or have severe pain — that they should never suffer in silence.
Get them help if they need it. If your kid is dealing with severe period symptoms, take them to see a doctor or nurse, like the ones at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center. There may be a medical problem going on, like endometriosis or PMDD. Treatment, like hormonal birth control, can help ease symptoms. If your kid is intersex, trans, or nonbinary, and having a period isn’t aligned with their gender identity, it can be particularly tough to deal with. Listen to them and help them get any gender-affirming care they may need, like puberty blockers.
Learn more about talking about periods with your kids.
Tags: menstruation, periods, parents