How do I talk with my boyfriend about wearing a condom?
By Kendall @ Planned Parenthood | Jan. 3, 2012, 1:20 p.m.
Category: Ask the Experts, Birth Control
My Boyfriend and I are ready to go one step further and have intercourse i was wondering how i should go about asking him to wear a condom?
The condom talk is a conversation that should happen before you guys have sex. But the idea of talking about condoms with your boyfriend for the first time might make you really nervous. You can practice what you’re going to say beforehand. Then, choose the right time to talk. Waiting until the moment you’re hooking up can make this conversation trickier.
For starters, you can ask him if he agrees with you that using condoms is important. He’ll probably say, “Of course!” But if he doesn’t, here are some common exchanges people have when they talk about condoms. Some of them might work for you.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I don’t like using condoms.
You Can Say: Why not?
If Your Boyfriend Says: It doesn’t feel as good with a condom.
You Can Say: I’ll feel more relaxed. If I’m more relaxed, it will be better for both of us.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms are gross.
You Can Say: Being pregnant when I don’t want to be is worse. So is getting an STD.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Don’t you trust me?
You Can Say: Trust isn’t the point. People can carry sexually transmitted infections without knowing it.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’ll pull out in time.
You Can Say: I want to feel relaxed and enjoy this, and pulling out is just too risky. There’s a chance I could get pregnant from your pre-cum, or we might get too excited to stop. And pulling out doesn’t help much with sexually transmitted infections.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms aren’t romantic.
You Can Say: Being together like this and protecting each other’s health sounds really romantic to me.
If Your Boyfriend Says: It just isn’t as sensitive.
You Can Say: With a condom you might last even longer, and that’ll make up for it. Or let’s try a internal condom.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Putting it on interrupts everything.
You Can Say: Not if I help put it on.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’ll try, but it might not work.
You Can Say: Practice makes perfect.
If Your Boyfriend Says: But I love you.
You Can Say: Then you’ll help me protect myself.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I guess you don’t really love me.
You Can Say: I’m not going to “prove my love” by risking my health. Do you really love me? Do you want me to feel safe?
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’m not using a condom, no matter what.
You Can Say: I’m not having sex without a condom, no matter what. Let’s not have sex.
If You Are a Virgin and Have Decided to Have Sex and Want to Use a Condom and Your Boyfriend Says: Just this once without it. Just the first time.
You Can Say: It only takes once to get pregnant. It only takes once to get a sexually transmitted infection. It only takes once to get HIV.
Don’t be afraid of being rejected. If your boyfriend doesn’t respect what you want for your body and health, then he’s not worth having sex with. Sad but true.
Tags: relationships, condoms, male condoms