Someone asked us: My boyfriend wants to have sex but I’m not sure if I’m ready. How do I know?
This is a really common question. Only you can know if you’re ready to have sex. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you decide if you’re ready to have sex:
- How do you feel about having sex right now? How do you feel about having sex with this person? Do you respect and trust each other?
- How might sex change your relationship?
- Do you want to be in a committed relationship before you have sex?
- Do you and the person you’re thinking about having sex with practice consent?
- Do you feel pressured to make a certain choice?
- Would the people who care about you support your decision? And how important is their support?
- What are you expecting physically and emotionally out of sex?
- Are you and the person you’re thinking about having sex with okay with each other’s expectations?
- What kind(s) of sex do you want to have? What kinds of touch do you feel comfortable with?
- How do you feel about telling the person you’re having sex with what you want, what you don’t want, and what you would like out of sex?
- Are you prepared to talk about protecting against unintended pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections by using things like condoms, dental dams, and/or another birth control method?
These are a lot of things to think about. Talking through your decision with someone you trust — like a close friend, older sibling, parent, or caregiver may be helpful.
The first time you have sex can be an experience that brings a lot of different feelings, both physical and emotional. Whether you’re already in a relationship with someone or not, we hope these tips help you prepare you for your first time so you can stay safe and feel good!
And remember: the decision to have sex for the first time is yours and yours alone. And it’s something you should feel good about!
Tags: relationships, virginity