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I’ve been questioning my gender for some time now (FtM) however, I always seem to doubt myself if I really am trans or not, or if this is just some sort of phase. Is there anyway to really know?


Everyone’s gender identity is up to them to define. I can’t tell you how you can know for sure. What I can tell you is that it’s totally OK to NOT know for sure. It’s also fine for you to identify different ways at different times. Not every trans* person has it figured out right away. Thankfully, no one is watching the clock on this one. You’re allowed to take all the time you need to think about it.

Here are some things you can do that can help you figure things out. Try writing about how you feel on a regular basis in a journal. Talk about it with a close friend or family member who you trust. Listen to other trans* folks’ experiences as much as possible, either by reading stuff they’ve written or meeting them in person. Some communities, especially schools and universities, have LGBTQ groups where you can meet other people who are currently going through this, or have in the recent past. Keep your chin up and remember that you’re not alone.  Figuring out gender or sexual identity sometimes takes a really long time, and that’s totally normal.

-Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tags: LGBTQ, transgender, gender identity, trans

Are you a teenager who wants support?

  • Q Chat Space hosts live chats where LGBTQ+ teens can give and receive support.

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