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I am 16 years old, and I am having trouble in school with friends. I have told a few of them I am gay. Yet I date a boy that I know, and I have dated him a year and a half. I don’t feel so connected to him, because I’d rather love a girl than him. I much rather be myself than lie to myself. I do love the boy, just I’m gay. How can I tell him without him hating me?

Deciding whether to come out to friends and loved ones can be an extremely difficult decision. Some teens find that being upfront with their feelings is the best way to sort things out. You may want to explain how you feel and ask your boyfriend how he feels about the situation.

It’s important to remember that any time you confront or discuss your feelings with someone, you’re taking a risk. You may feel vulnerable or may get hurt in the process. Also, the person you tell your secret to may tell it to people who you’d rather not have know, so you need to decide whether it’s worth the risk. It might be helpful to talk things over first with a friend who already knows and is supportive.

Tags: lesbian, bisexual, gay, sexual orientation, coming out

Coming Out Resources

For All Ages

For Teens

  • Q Chat Space hosts live chats where LGBTQ+ teens can give and receive support.

  • imi's coming out guide offers queer teens support in becoming their most authentic, full selves.

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