By now we know that condoms are an important and necessary piece of the conversation about safe sexual behaviors, such as STI prevention; and to help avoid unwanted pregnancy.
However, knowing this doesn’t always make it easier to approach communicating with your partner about condoms and condom protected sex.
This National Condom Week, we want to share some tips on how you can begin the conversation.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are about 20 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in the United States every year. Using condoms is one of the leading ways to prevent the spread of STIs such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV.
In addition to preventing STIs, condoms are an effective form of contraception. If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 87% effective.
Sometimes bringing up contraceptives can feel intimidating–that’s okay! We’re here to help. Here’s some tips on approaching an open and honest dialog with your partner about your sexual health and boundaries.
Conversational tactics:
- Be clear and direct: It's important to be clear and direct about your desire to use a condom. Avoid beating around the bush or making vague statements.
- Use "I" statements: Rather than placing blame or making accusations, use "I" statements to express your needs and desires. For example, "I want to ensure we're both safe and healthy, so I'd like us to use a condom."
- Don’t give in to pressure: If your partner tries to pressure you into not using a condom, standing firm in your decision to prioritize your health and safety is important. If you feel unsafe setting that boundary, consider whether this person you are engaging with is the right fit for you. Read more about consent and support for boundary-crossing here.
- Use a proper tone: Approach the conversation with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Avoid making your partner feel bad or ashamed for not wearing a condom.
- Be confident: Don’t be afraid to assert your boundaries and be confident in your decision to use a condom. Remember, your health and safety are important.
- Emphasize consent: Using a condom is a way to show respect for your partner's sexual health and safety. Emphasize that consent is important to you and use of a condom is the way to ensure both partners are comfortable and willing.
- Have condoms on hand: Make sure you have condoms on hand so that using one is easy and convenient.
It's also important to address common barriers to condom use, such as misconceptions about size and fit. Remind your partner that there are a variety of condom sizes and types available and that it's important to find one that works for both partners.
Let’s talk STIs
When discussing safe sex practices, it’s important to consider both condom use and the risk of STIs. While condoms can provide effective protection against STIs, having an open and honest conversation with your partner about STIs is also important. Similar to the condom discussion, this may feel uncomfortable, but it’s essential to promoting safe sexual practices to protect your health. Approached correctly, it can produce meaningful and empowering conversations.
Here are some tips for addressing STIs in the conversation:
- Provide information: It's helpful to provide your partner with information about common STIs, including their transmission methods, symptoms, and treatment options.
- Discuss safe sex practices: Discuss ways to protect yourselves from STIs, including using condoms, getting tested regularly, and being monogamous. Make sure you both understand and agree on what constitutes safe sex.
- Frame the conversation positively: It's important to avoid shaming or judging your partner when discussing STIs. Instead, frame the conversation positively and emphasize that you both have a shared responsibility to protect your health and prevent the transmission of STIs.
- Be honest: It's important to be honest about your STI status and ask your partner about theirs. Starting from a place of transparency will make it easier for your partner to reciprocate.
Addressing any concerns or questions your partner may have about STIs is an important conversation to have early on in the relationship, ideally, before sexual activity begins. This can help alleviate anxiety and promote a more open and honest dynamic between partners.
Final Thoughts
Using a condom isn't just about avoiding pregnancy or STIs; it's also about showing respect for your partner's sexual health. By using a condom, you're showing that you care about your partner's well-being and are willing to take steps to protect their health and safety.
Taking the time to navigate these important topics is one of the best ways to protect and care for one another. So this National Condom Week, if you haven’t already, have a conversation with your partner about using condoms and protecting your health.
Tags: relationships, condoms, contraceptives, safe