When we think of things that are “sexy”, consent may not be the first thing that comes to mind. The truth is, when it comes to sexual interactions, introducing consent to the bedroom is seen as incredibly attractive. After all, nothing is sexier than ensuring that the person you’re with is just as enthusiastic and fully on board with your preferences.
How can we discuss Consent with our Partner?
There is no one-size-fits-all script for asking for consent, but clear communication is key. Establishing consent and maintaining healthy sexual relationships with your partners is essential. You should talk to your significant other about what you are and are not comfortable with. Listening and respecting their boundaries shows that you care about each other. Be sure to ask for consent throughout the sexual experience.
Remember that consent is not a one-time thing. Also, just because someone said yes to one thing, it doesn’t mean they’re giving blanket permission for everything else. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and when that happens, you have to respect that decision.
Keep in mind that silence does not equate to consent, meaning just because someone is not saying “No” does not mean they are giving you consent. People stay silent when they are afraid to turn their partner down and hurt their feelings. Take silence as a “No” unless they say otherwise.
What are the benefits of having conversations about consent?
Consent is an enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing agreement between all parties intimately involved. It’s not just a legal requirement but is crucial for your sexual health and well-being. When all parties respect boundaries and are on the same page, the sexual experience can be epic. It is an amazing feeling when you are desired and respected at the same time. Asking for permission and checking in throughout the sexual experience is such a turn-on. It’s like saying, “I want you, but only if you want me too.”
Toolbox for talking about consent.
Having an open dialog about consent is essential to promoting healthy relationships and preventing sexual misconduct. Here are some tips to help you create an open dialog about consent:
- Encourage Questions: Create a safe space for questions and encourage everyone to ask them. This can help clear up any misconceptions or confusion about what consent means to all parties.
- Discuss Scenarios: Discussing hypothetical scenarios can help everyone understand how consent works in practice.
- Be non-judgemental: It's essential to create a safe, non-judgmental, space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences. Avoid using shaming or blaming language.
- Use Clear and Affirmative language: Instead of asking “Do you not want to do this?” try asking “Do you want to do this?” to create a positive and enthusiastic environment.
- Emphasize Communication: Encourage open communication and emphasize the importance of checking in with partners to ensure that everyone is comfortable and consenting throughout any sexual encounter.
Creating an open dialog about consent requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to listen and learn. With these tips, you can create a safe space where everyone can feel comfortable when discussing consent.
Whether you are having sex for the first time or the thousandth time, with a new partner or a long-time lover, exploring vanilla or kink, consent is always required. It’s the foundation of mutual pleasure, trust, and respect. Consent is a priority for our sexual encounters. Let's talk about it, establish boundaries, and prioritize the comfort and safety of everyone involved. Remember, consent is sexy!
Tags: consent, sex-education, sexed