Are you going soft during sex? Is it difficult for your partner to get hard or stay hard once they do? Are you (or both of you) worried about erectile dysfunction? We're here to tell you there's nothing to sweat about ED.
Occasional erection problems are a normal part of our sex lives, and it's important not to become so anxious about getting or staying hard that it makes having sex less pleasurable or more difficult. It's equally important to talk with your health care provider if not being able to get or maintain an erection becomes an ongoing, unrelieved problem that bothers you or your partner.
Whether occasional or chronic, finding which treatment method is right for your ED depends on why your penis can't get or stay erect (hard). Here's more information about what you need to know about ED and other common FAQs our experts have been asked.
Keep reading to learn more!
What causes ED?
Contrary to popular belief, erectile dysfunction is not just experienced by older individuals. Several things can cause erectile dysfunction in people of all ages, including stress, anxiety, and depression, obesity, various medicines, relationship issues, low testosterone, lifestyle choices, and more.
How is ED treated?
The good news is there are options for treatment for ED. With many options, you can start seeing results quickly.
The treatment options for ED include:
- Pills from a doctor or nurse — like Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis
- A vacuum pump device that you put your penis in
- Counseling or psychotherapy
- Medicines injected into your penis or put into your urethra
- Surgery
How quickly does Viagra (the little blue pill) work?
Viagra is one of the most common treatment options for ED. Viagra works as quickly as one hour or less.
Taken one hour before sex, Viagra works in response to sexual stimulation by helping to increase the blood flow to the penis. By helping the muscles in the penis relax, Viagra allows greater blood flow to the penis, increasing the chances for an erection with sexual stimulation.
Do I actually have ED, or is it just stress or performance anxiety?
Chronic stress and performance anxiety can definitely be a cause of erectile dysfunction.
Stress damages the way your blood vessel’s function, including the vessels down there. Performance anxiety is the fear of being unable to please a partner. This anxiety causes hormonal and psychological changes in the body that prevent a guy from getting or maintaining an erection.
It’s important to talk to a health care provider to understand if your environment or lifestyle is causing symptoms of ED and what changes you can explore together to help you get your sex life back on track.
Do condoms make keeping an erection harder?
No. Putting on a condom might take some getting used to, but it does not interfere with the ability to maintain an erection unless it is the wrong size or type of condom for you.
Condoms that are too tight or cause skin irritation can cause you to lose your erection. If you’re experiencing discomfort using condoms, you should check if you have a latex allergy. It’s worth trying other brands until you find the perfect fit. You can also work with your partner to find a good lubricant.
Condoms help you and your partner practice safe sex. You can check out this blog post for more information about the different types of condoms and which one might be best for you!
Can alcohol affect a guy’s ability to get an erection? What about other drugs?
The use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs can lead to erection problems. Most erection problems are due to a combination of blood vessels, nerves, and psychological factors. These can be brought on by drinking too much alcohol.
Drinking alcohol can also reduce a person’s inhibitions and increase the chances of unintended pregnancy and exposure to sexually transmitted infections. If people have sex when they are drunk or high, they’re much less likely to have safer sex — to use condoms or use them correctly. It's best not to mix sex with alcohol or drugs to prevent both unintended pregnancy and symptoms of ED.
I sometimes have trouble maintaining my erection during sex. Is this from masturbating too much?
No. Masturbation won’t make it harder to get or maintain an erection or to have an orgasm. Some people find that masturbation makes them last longer when they have sex with a partner. Others do not. But masturbation has no health risks.
Masturbation can be good for you, mentally and physically. It’s one of the best ways you can learn about your sexuality. It can help you explore what you like and don’t like and how to last longer, which can make sex with a partner a lot more enjoyable.
I can get an erection when I masturbate, but not when I'm with my partner. What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you! Erections are about being relaxed and being turned on. Losing an erection or being unable to become erect often results from nerves, anxiety, or using alcohol or other drugs. Sometimes, people worry about performance. Sometimes, they're anxious about whether having intercourse is the right decision or whether they're with the right partner.
Some people become anxious and self-conscious when they're putting on condoms, especially if all these other things are going on. Becoming aware of all these possibilities can help you and your partner make the choices you need to make to be relaxed and turned on enough to have an erection.
Sometimes, direct stimulation of the penis during foreplay can also solve the problem!
I’ve heard diabetes can cause ED. Is that true?
ED is more common in people with diabetes, especially those with type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar over a long period can damage the nerves and blood vessels, which can cause problems with getting or keeping an erection firm enough for sex.
High blood pressure and heart disease can also cause ED. People might notice problems with erections before getting diagnosed with diabetes or heart disease.
How can I satisfy my partner with ED?
The best thing you or your partner can do for erectile dysfunction is to see a health care provider that can help you pinpoint any underlying causes.
Keeping your body healthy can also help your partner prevent erectile dysfunction, such as:
- Staying at a weight that's healthy for you
- Taking care of any medical problems you might have
- Reducing stress to improve your mood through things like getting more sleep, meditation, and breathing exercises
- Limiting alcohol and stopping smoking and using drugs
- Exercising regularly
- Talking with a counselor who specializes in sex and relationship problems
Other things you and your partner could try include:
- Talking about your likes and dislikes in a nonjudgmental, safe space
- Exploring porn (movies, magazines, websites, or other entertainment) that brings you sexual pleasure
- Masturbating
- Using lubricants (if you’re using condoms, choose a water-based lubricant)
Tags: erection problems, erectile-dysfunction, sexual-dysfunction