My boyfriend and I have been having sex since January. I’m taking a birth control pill and he always wears condoms, because I feel more comfortable with two types of birth control. These seem to be the easiest, most reliable, and pretty standard methods. Recently its gotten to the point where he complains about wearing a condom that I can’t enjoy sex. He makes faces when I get one out, and the other day when I told him that it had gotten dry, and could we use a new one, he mumbled “thats what you get”. I find myself avoiding sex because I don’t want to deal with the confrontation and the fights. I have been looking at other types of birth control, but I’m very confused. Are there safe and effective, yet comfortable backups to condoms? Thank you so much for any help.
Yes, there are alternative ways to prevent pregnancy besides using condoms, but none of them, except the female condom, also protect against sexually transmitted infections, which is why it’s good to use them as well as the pill or any other kind of birth control.
When condoms get dry during intercourse, you can add more lubrication without having to change the condom. Always use a water- or silicone-based lubricant like KY or Astroglide with a latex condom so you don’t damage the condom.
Most importantly, your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be showing respect for you, your health, or your well-being. If he is making you uncomfortable during sex and tells you, “That’s what you get,” while he’s doing it, you may want to think about how this relationship is working for you. Partners who care about each other do not put the pressure on or purposely cause pain for one another.
If you can’t talk this through and get the kind of love and caring you want out of your relationship, it may be time to think about moving on.
Visit our website to learn about these and other birth control methods.