Should I feel guilty about having sex? I’m about to turn 17 and just had sex for the first time. I’m on a birth control pill and have been with my boyfriend for over a year. The thing is, I don’t regret it at all. I’m happy about it, and have never felt more love by or in love with my boyfriend. Is it okay for me to be happy about this? Everything that I’ve read talks about how sex is pretty much a bad idea for teens, but is it alright that I’m not regretting this decision at all?
Is it okay to be happy about sex? Totally! Sex can be one of the greatest, happiness-inducing things in the world.
But deciding when to have sex for the first time is a big deal, and it can be an especially difficult decision for teens. That’s because figuring out when a relationship is ready for sex can be really hard — for everyone, but especially for young people. Sex has some pretty obvious physical risks — sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy. But it can also carry emotional risks, too. Sex before you feel ready for it, sex with someone you don’t trust or respect (or who doesn’t trust or respect you), or sex that doesn’t feel good can lead to some really scary and stressful feelings. And a healthy sex life should never be scary or stressful. That also means sex shouldn’t be followed by regret or guilt. So not feeling those things is good, not bad!
It’s important to use protection (and that means adding a condom into the mix, to reduce your risk of STDs), and to keep communicating with your boyfriend about what the two of you want. It’s also important to remember that even though you guys have started having sex, you’re never obligated to have sex. If you decide to slow things down, that’s always okay.