I want to stay a virgin until marriage, but my boyfriend and I have had “dry sex”. Does that mean I’ve broken my promise? Is it normal to do this?
Definitions of virginity vary. And there are many different beliefs about what losing one’s virginity means. Most people agree that women and men lose their virginity the first time they have vaginal intercourse. And most people in the U.S. agree that people who have “dry sex,” masturbate, or do things like touching a sex partner’s genitals with their hands — are still virgins.
But many sexually active people who have never had vaginal intercourse don’t consider themselves virgins — people who have sex with people of the same sex, for example.
Some also believe that people have to give consent to lose their virginity — that virgins who are raped, for example, do not lose their virginity.
By the way, dry sex — a form of outercourse — is perfectly normal. People have been doing it for centuries.