I’ve recently lost my virginity, and Ive had sex about 8 times and it still hurts. Not as excruciating as the first two times, but how long til it starts feeling better? Is this abnormal?
Too many women experience pain and discomfort during sex. One of the most common causes among young women is that they are not lubricated enough for comfortable penetration. The other is that they aren’t really enjoying sex at this time in their lives.
Here are some solutions. The first is to make sure that there is enough foreplay before intercourse to excite and lubricate the woman. The second is to add plenty of lubrication, such as K-Y or Astroglide, to make sure that penetration is comfortable. The third is to wait to have sex until you have a partner who really excites you and helps you enjoy it.
Sex can be a lot about trial and error — figuring out what works for you and what doesnt, what you find pleasurable and what you don’t like. Everyone has different preferences for how he or she likes to be stimulated. It’s really important for you and your partner to communicate about your preferences, and for you to tell your partner if anything hurts — sex that’s uncomfortable for you should not continue.
You may find as you get older that sex becomes more pleasurable because you have more knowledge of what is pleasing to you sexually, and because you’re more comfortable communicating with your partners about what you like and don’t like sexually. Masturbation can be key to figuring out what kind of touching and sensations work for you, and it’s a way to have orgasms. In the meantime, you might find our page on understanding sexual pleasure helpful.