Love bombing is a form of sexual coercion or emotional abuse. It’s when someone “bombs” you with lots of affection or romantic gestures. At first it may seem like it’s about love, but it’s really about control — the goal is to pressure you to be in a relationship, have sex, or spend all of your time with your partner.
Love bombing may look like:
- Giving you lots of attention and compliments.
- Giving you expensive gifts or making grand gestures.
- Expressing intense feelings of admiration and love, even when it feels like it’s “too much” or too early in the relationship.
- Texting or calling you constantly, and wanting to spend all their time with you.
- Trying to keep you from seeing your friends or family.
Love bombing may make you feel:
- Pressure to be in a relationship or make your relationship exclusive before you’re ready.
- Guilty for not spending all your time with your partner.
- Like you “owe” them sex, affection, or attention.
If the “nice” things your partner does for you make you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or pressured, that’s not healthy. It’s normal for your partner to give you gifts and compliments, but it should never make you feel like you have to do something you don’t want to.
Love bombing usually starts early in the relationship when things are still new, but it can also happen when you’ve already been together for a while. It often comes from someone you’re dating or in a relationship with, but love bombing can also happen between family members or friends.
Relationships can be complicated, but it’s important to trust your gut — if the way someone treats you feels off, it probably is. If you talk with your partner about your feelings and they get angry, don’t care about how you’re feeling, or don’t change their behavior, it may be a sign that it’s time to end the relationship. It can be hard, but you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe and happy. Talking to other people you trust — like a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor — can also help you understand what is going on in your relationship.
Tags: relationships, healthy relationships, abuse