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Someone asked us: I’m depressed because my ex-partner came out of the closet and left me for another woman. What can I do?

It can be very difficult to find out that your partner has a different sexual orientation than you thought, especially when that also means the end of the relationship.

In these situations, there’s a lot going on for both people, and it’s normal to feel confused and to have a lot of questions. And it’s also normal to feel sad, guilty, angry, and anxious. It's not easy.

Your sexual orientation can change throughout your life, at any age. There are people who know from very early on who they’re attracted to (people of the opposite sex, the same sex, trans people, etc.). But for others it’s a process of exploring different things. Know that people don’t choose their sexual orientation — it's just something that happens, and it's not personal.

While you may be trying to understand, accept, and perhaps support your ex-partner's journey, remember to focus on yourself and your well-being. Think about your own emotions and needs, and give yourself time to process and establish the necessary boundaries to take care of yourself. 

You’re not alone. A good first step may be to talk to people you trust, or people who’ve been through similar situations. If you’re having trouble functioning and continuing with your daily activities, consider talking with a nurse, doctor, or therapist.

Learn more about sexual orientation.

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