Why is it harder for people with vaginas to orgasm?
By Attia @ Planned Parenthood | June 29, 2020, 7:17 p.m.
Category: Ask the Experts, Sex and relationships
How come some girls don’t come at all? And guys always do. I don’t really understand. My sis said is becuz guys “are at their peak” .She says it takes a while for girls and they will start “coming” when they get a little older like 20 or 25. Please help i’m really confused!
People with vaginas may feel like they have an orgasm - aka cum or climax - less easily or less often than people with penises.
Many people with vaginas have trouble reaching orgasm through penis-in-vagina sex alone. Most of those people have an easier time with orgasm through having more variety in stimulation, like touching or rubbing of their clitoris, oral sex, vaginal sex, etc. So if you’re having trouble with orgasms, you may want to try different types of sexual stimulation to see what feels good for you.
If you’re not sure what would feel good for you, masturbation is a great way to get to know your body. Once you know, you can communicate that to your partner to help sex feel good.
Keep in mind, everyone’s body responds differently, and every person has different preferences for how they like to be sexual with someone. That’s why communicating with your partner is very important. Our partners can’t read our minds, so it’s important to be clear about what feels good and what doesn’t, and what we do and don’t want to do.
You may find as you get older that you have an easier time having orgasms because you have more knowledge of what you like sexually, and because you’re more comfortable communicating with your partners about what you like and don't like.
And people with penises don’t always have orgasms — it’s not uncommon for them to have trouble with orgasms, or getting or keeping an erection. Sexual pleasure has a lot to do with emotion and relaxation. It’s harder to enjoy sex or orgasm if you’re uncomfortable, self-conscious, or don’t feel quite right about what’s going on.
Learn more about orgasm and masturbation.