Every state defines crimes like "rape" and "sexual assault" differently. However, the following acts are considered crimes in most states when they are committed with physical force or with a threat to hurt the victim or another person. These acts are also crimes in most states if the victim is physically helpless and can't give consent — for example, when the victim is drunk or asleep and unable to refuse sex:
- Penetration of a victim's anus or vagina. The penetration may be by a body part, such as finger or penis, or by an object.
- Penetration of the victim's mouth by a man's penis.
- Intentionally touching a victim's intimate parts, such as buttocks, inner thigh, breasts, genital area (or the clothing covering those body parts), with a purpose of sexual gratification.
- Forcing a victim to touch someone else's intimate parts.
- Cunnilingus — contact between the mouth of one person and the vulva of another.
Generally speaking, women and men may be the victims and women and men may be the aggressors: a man can sexually assault another man or a woman; and a woman may sexually assault another woman or a man.
These acts are crimes even when the attacker and victim know each other. Just because two people are on a date does not mean one of them has given consent to sex. A person has a right to refuse sex at any time, even during a sexual encounter. In most states, the same rules apply even if the people are married to each other.
You should know that all states have "statutory rape" laws that make it a crime to have sex with a minor even when the minor says she or he is a willing participant. These laws are very different in every state. The age of the "victim" varies. For example, in some states, the sex act is not a crime unless one of the participants is less than 16 years old, but in other states, sex with a minor less than 17 or even 18 may be a crime.
One partner may have to be a certain number of years older than the other — for example, sex between a 14-year old and an 18-year old may be a crime, but not sex between two 14-year olds. But in some states, sex between minors of the same age is a crime.
Many states have laws that say that doctors, nurses, and other professionals like teachers and guidance counselors must report various sex crimes, including the "statutory rape" crimes, to the police or to child abuse protection agencies.
For free confidential counseling, you can call the RAINN hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-656-HOPE or you can visit their website for more information on rape, abuse, and incest.
