Chances are, you'll have to deal with it — a stepfamily. Not only is the divorce rate in America more than 50 percent, but 64 percent of families live in some form of a stepfamily relationship. If a "blended" family has replaced your "nuclear" unit, you're not alone. How can you adjust to life with your new stepfamily? With time, communication, and acceptance.

What Is Normal?

Take a look at your friends' families, and you'll probably notice tons of variety. Some might live with their mom and stepfather, others with their dad, stepmother, and stepsiblings, and some might split time between two completely separate step-households. These are all blended families — that is, a family that includes at least one stepparent and one or more kids. Just because blended families are now the majority, doesn't mean they're always easy to live with.

Dealing with Your Feelings

Change is scary, especially when it has to do with your home and family. "One of the biggest fears is that the new stepparent will replace the parent [you're] not living with," says Dr. Lauren Solotar, a psychologist who specializes in teen counseling.

You might also worry that you'll feel alienated, your stepsiblings will get more attention, you won't have alone time with your biological parent — the list goes on. You could even feel smothered by a stepparent. "My stepmom is trying a little too hard. She gets a little overbearing with all her niceness," admits one teen.

You might also feel angry. "My dad just died and [my] mom got remarried. It hurts my feelings about my dad being forgotten by my mother," says another teen. While it's natural to be upset, don't let it manifest itself in destructive ways like using drugs, ditching school, or withdrawing from everyone. None of that will change things.

Time to Adjust

All the things you took for granted in your family — bathroom use, chores, privacy — are negotiable in a new stepfamily. Naturally, you'll need time to adjust to those changes — a good year, according to Dr. Solotar. Here are tips that might help.

  • Express yourself. As awkward and painful as opening up can be, it's worse to smother your feelings. "Writing in a diary is a good way to sort through feelings and express yourself," advises Dr. Solotar. So is talking it out with members of your family, or talking to friends.
  • Be honest, open, and communicative. Take time to get to know your stepparent and siblings. Remember, they want it to work as much as you do.
  • Be realistic. Don't compare everything in your new home to "how it used to be." While everyone wants to fall into a natural routine, it won't happen overnight. Give it time, and don't expect miracles.
  • Find support. If you can't talk to your parents, find another adult whom you trust: a guidance counselor, grandparent, a friend's parent, or any other adult who's helped you in the past.

While it's frightening that things will never be the same again, you can also take comfort in the fact that your new blended family is just that: new. Give it time. Accept that things have changed. Who knows? You just might find that "new" doesn't have to mean "terrible."