Dear peacefrog,

This is a really common question. Having sex is a big decision, and there are many things to think about, including

• your personal values and goals
• your feelings about the kinds of emotional and physical risks you are willing to take
• whether you are feeling pressured
• how clear you can be with your partner about what you do and don't want to happen
• what you want out of your relationship
• whether or not you are prepared to protect yourself against unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection

Having sex can be a great experience, but it can also make people feel vulnerable, and they can get hurt. It's important to think about the emotional risks and benefits when making a decision. It's also important to plan how you will protect yourself and your partner from unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections if you choose to have sex.

Bottom line: if you don't want to have sex, don't. You don't need any reason more than that.