Dear SarahNY,

Sexual abstinence is defined in different ways by different people, organizations, cultures, and religions. Most believe that abstinence means not having any kind of sex play with a partner, from kissing to intercourse. This is how Planned Parenthood defines abstinence.

Sexually active women and men who are concerned about unplanned pregnancy may choose to abstain from vaginal intercourse and engage in other forms of sexual activity. For them, oral sex is one of the options for sexual activity that does not lead to pregnancy. Many people refer to these options as "outercourse."

Abstinence is the only form of birth control that’s 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. But since most people stop being abstinent at some point, it’s important to learn about other forms of birth control.