So many people out there are trying to sell you their version of how to be sexy and sexual. They don’t have a clue who you are. They also may be dead wrong about the facts! How can you trust them about what’s best for you?
Nothing beats a true conversation with a grown-up you know and who really knows you. It might be with one of your parents or guardian. Or maybe you’d like to talk with a teacher, aunt, uncle, or coach. Your “trusted adults” are grown-ups you’re comfortable talking to—and are available to listen.
- If you want to talk to an adult about puberty, crushes, who you’re attracted to, and other feelings, and no one’s talking about it . . . you might have to get brave and bring it up!
- A lot of parents say they were happy when their children asked them about puberty and sex.
- It's normal to feel nervous. Many people feel awkward or shy talking about private parts, relationships, and sex. That includes adults!
- You’re never too young or too old to ask any question—whether you’ve had lots of these talks or none.
You Asked Us . . .
How can I bring something up with an adult?
Maybe riding in the car or when you’re about to go to bed. Just choose a comfortable place to talk. You can write down your questions, or let an adult know you want to talk with a letter, email, or text. You could even send them a link to this website, or bring a book with you so you can show where you have questions.
How could I start a conversation like this?
You might say something like: “I think I’m going through puberty, and I wanted to know . . . “
What kind of question is OK?
Anything from asking for information to wanting to know their stories. Try out some of these questions on a trusted adult:
- What was puberty like for you? What was easy? What was hard?
- Did your parents talk to you about puberty?
- If I need supplies (bras, razors, pads, deodorant, shaving gel, tampons) will you help me get them and show me how to use them?
- Do you have any advice for me that will help me stay healthy?
- When did you start dating?
What if I can’t think of an adult I want to talk to?
Don’t forget it can be anyone you trust: a counselor, a teacher, a coach at school, a parent of one of your friends, or an older relative. Books are also great ways to get information. Why not email us a question (Ask X)? We’ll get back to you within a week with an answer. Our sex ed teachers can also come to your school. And once you’re 12, you can start coming to Teen Clinics at our PPGG health centers to talk with our doctors. They’re great at helping teenagers.
Find Out More
- Having the Talk
- Sex Ed Workshops
- It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris (Candlewick Press, 1994). This is a great book written especially for young people. Full of clear information and fun cartoons!
- The “What’s Happening to My Body” Book for Boys by Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras (Newmarket, 2007).
- What’s Going On Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle with Nick and Chava Castro (Walker & Co., 1998). Two brothers helped write this book to answer boys’ questions about puberty!
- The “What’s Happening to My Body” Book for Girls by Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras (Newmarket, 2007).
- The Period Book: Everything You Don’t Want to Ask (But Need to Know) by Karen Gravelle and Jennifer Gravelle (Walker & Co., 1996). A girl helped her aunt write this book, so it’s really about what girls want to know!
- Planned Parenthood’s Teen Talk website
