The Sexual Man
Erogenous Zones
Every part of a man's body will respond to touch. Certain areas produce intense sensations when stimulated and trigger sexual arousal. These are called erogenous zones. Some erogenous zones produce tremendous sexual arousal while other zones simply "tickle" the senses. Take a look at how different body parts stimulate a man:
Nice: hair, forehead, temples, eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks, arms, hands
Really Nice: mouth and lips, ears, throat and neck, adam's apple, abdomen, navel, back, toes
Even Nicer: nipples, tip of penis, area between scrotum and anus — perineum, buttocks, topmost inner thighs
Men are unique, and many different parts of their bodies affect sexual arousal and pleasure. The penis is often seen as the "one and only" male body part that likes to be touched. Touching, stroking, caressing, and kissing a man's body in many different areas can encourage the build-up of sexual tension and excitement. This type of sexual play is known as foreplay.
Touch is not the only sexual stimulus. Our bodies respond to the world around us. Anything that causes a response is called a stimulus. We sense stimuli by all five of our senses: touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste.
What arouses or excites us sexually can be a result of each of our senses. Some of our responses to sexual stimuli are voluntary — we choose to become aroused. Some of them are involuntary — we find ourselves aroused without even thinking about it.
We tend to associate certain smells, tastes, sights, and sounds with sexually stimulating experiences. As we mature, these stimuli affect what we find sexually stimulating. This learning experience continues throughout the rest of our lives. We are never too old to find new stimuli, nor do we forget those that aroused us during our younger years.
Foreplay
Although the penis will usually become erect within a few moments of sexual excitement, to become fully aroused and ready for intercourse many men require some type of stimulation. This additional stimulation is known as foreplay. Foreplay may be seen as a way to "warm" your partner up or may be enjoyed as end to itself. Remember, sexual activity is not just about intercourse!
Foreplay may include:
- Kissing — appreciated by every part of the body
- Petting — touching, stroking, nibbling
- Massage — a variety of pressures and strokes across a man's entire body using scented oils, feathers, silk, or nothing but hands
- Outercourse — mutual masturbation
Foreplay is also a safer alternative to sexual intercourse!
Male Sexual Response
A man's response to sexual stimulation is called his sexual response cycle. The cycle begins with sexual arousal. Some or all of the phases in the cycle are reached each time he has a sexual experience. However, a man can stop at any time before orgasm. Completing the cycle is not necessary for his sexual fulfillment.
Arousal Foreplay and other stimuli (visual, auditory, imaginative) cause a man's penis to enlarge and become harder. The scrotum thickens and the testes rise closer to the body. The heart beats faster, blood pressure increases, and muscle tension rises. The skin becomes flushed and the nipples may become erect.
Excitement increases The penis continues to enlarge and becomes almost fully erect. Pulse, breathing rate, muscle tension, and blood pressure also increase significantly.
Plateau phase This is the period of intense excitement that immediately precedes orgasm. The man's penis releases a clear fluid called pre-ejaculate.
Orgasm The man experiences a loss of muscle control and spasms occur. The vas deferens, prostate gland, and the seminal vesicles contract and move semen out of the penis causing an ejaculation. The urethra, anus, and other pelvic muscles contract in rhythm. Intense sexual feelings spread throughout the body.
Resolution This is when the body gradually returns to normal. The muscles relax, the breathing and heart rate decrease, and the blood flows away from the genitals. A man loses his erection and the penis returns to its normal size.
A Man's Orgasm
An orgasm can be defined as the phase when sexual tension is released. This is the shortest of all the phases and the most anticipated. During orgasm the body releases chemicals — called endorphins — that produce very nice feelings.
During a man's orgasm his urethra, prostate, and muscles of the pelvic floor (PC muscles) contract three to six times, with 0.8 seconds between each contraction. Ejaculation becomes unstoppable as he reaches ejaculatory inevitability — the vas deferens, seminal vesicles, and prostate begin contractions.
Ejaculation and orgasm in men often occur at the same time. However, orgasms are not the same as ejaculations. Here's how it works — the stimulation of the shaft and glans of the penis create sexual and muscle tension. The release of this tension is the orgasm. An ejaculation is the pushing and contractions of the prostrate and seminal vesicles to move semen out of the penis. It is possible for a man to ejaculate and not have an orgasm.
A man's orgasm is quite different than a woman's. First of all, the male orgasm is limited to the genital area, while the female orgasm can include areas outside of the genitals. Secondly, men seem to have only one way in which they experience orgasm. However, some men have experienced multiple orgasms — where they experience a flurry of minor contractions, followed by the first intense contraction. This pattern may be repeated for a second and third time. Most men, however, enter the resolution phase before they are able to have another orgasm or ejaculation.
The Male G-Spot
There has been talk about men having a sexual hot spot or G-spot, much like women are said to have. The alleged male G-spot owes its existence to the prostate. The prostate is a gland that can be found just below the bladder. This gland is responsible for both urination and ejaculation. What does the prostate have to do with sexual pleasure? Here's how it all works:
When a man is getting ready to climax, his PC muscles (the ones that stop the flow of urine) squeeze the prostate. How does that produce pleasure? The prostate is a nerve-rich organ that is extremely sensitive. So, stimulating the prostate has been known to send a man into orgasm heaven. The easiest way to reach this special place is through the perineum. This is a hairless patch of skin located at the base of the scrotum. It has been nicknamed the "taint" because "t'aint the scrotum and t'aint the anus." When the perineum is massaged the prostate is indirectly stimulated.
How can a man and/or his partner take advantage of this G-spot? When he is getting close to orgasm the perineum can be pressed and pumped firmly. This extra sensation can and may send a man over the edge. Of course, creativity in stimulating the G-spot will only make it work more effectively. Happy hunting!
Hear from men who have found their G-spot:
- Joey, 42: "If my girlfriend performs oral sex and presses that patch with her fingers, I'll have the most out-of-control orgasm imaginable."
- Craig, 26: "If my partner stimulates it the right way, I become incredibly aroused and feel a throbbing, orgasmic sensation in my lower abdomen."
- Greg, 19: "If a partner remembers my G-spot, I know we are in tune on a very intimate level."
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