How Can I Talk About Using Condoms?
It’s important to talk with your partner about using condoms. Talking about condoms with your partner for the first time may make you nervous. It can help to practice what you are going to say beforehand.
Then, choose the right time to talk — don't wait until the heat of passion takes over. It may overwhelm your good intentions.
Don't be shy — be direct. Be honest about your feelings and needs. It can help create a relaxed mood to make sex more enjoyable.
Talking is easier if you are in a respectful relationship that makes you feel happy and good about yourself and your partner.
If you haven’t had a talk about condoms before starting sex play, here are some simple and common things to say when you talk about using a condom with your partner:
If Your Boyfriend Says: I don’t like using condoms.
You Can Say: Why not?
If Your Boyfriend Says: It doesn’t feel as good with a condom.
You Can Say: I’ll feel more relaxed. If I’m more relaxed, it will be better for both of us.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms are gross.
You Can Say: Being pregnant when I don’t want to be is worse. So is getting an STD.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Don’t you trust me?
You Can Say: Trust isn’t the point. People can carry sexually transmitted infections without knowing it.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’ll pull out in time.
You Can Say: I want to feel relaxed and enjoy this, and pulling out is just too risky. There’s a chance I could get pregnant from your pre-cum, or we might get too excited to stop. And pulling out doesn’t help much with sexually transmitted infections.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms aren’t romantic.
You Can Say: Being together like this and protecting each other’s health sounds really romantic to me.
If Your Boyfriend Says: It just isn’t as sensitive.
You Can Say: With a condom you might last even longer, and that’ll make up for it. Or let’s try a female condom.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Putting it on interrupts everything.
You Can Say: Not if I help put it on.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’ll try, but it might not work.
You Can Say: Practice makes perfect.
If Your Boyfriend Says: But I love you.
You Can Say: Then you’ll help me protect myself.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I guess you don’t really love me.
You Can Say: I’m not going to “prove my love” by risking my health. Do you really love me? Do you want me to feel safe?
If Your Boyfriend Says: I’m not using a condom, no matter what.
You Can Say: I’m not having sex without a condom, no matter what. Let’s not have sex.
If You Are a Virgin and Have Decided to Have Sex and Want to Use a Condom and Your Boyfriend Says: Just this once without it. Just the first time.
You Can Say: It only takes once to get pregnant. It only takes once to get a sexually transmitted infection. It only takes once to get HIV.
Don't be afraid of being rejected. Besides, a partner who doesn't care about protecting your health and well-being is not worth having sex with.