How Can I Talk About Using Condoms?
Itís important to talk with your partner about using condoms. Talking about condoms with your partner for the first time may make you nervous. It can help to practice what you are going to say beforehand.
Then, choose the right time to talk ó don't wait until the heat of passion takes over. It may overwhelm your good intentions.
Don't be shy ó be direct. Be honest about your feelings and needs. It can help create a relaxed mood to make sex more enjoyable.
Talking is easier if you are in a respectful relationship that makes you feel happy and good about yourself and your partner.
If you havenít had a talk about condoms before starting sex play, here are some simple and common things to say when you talk about using a condom with your partner:
If Your Boyfriend Says: I donít like using condoms.
You Can Say: Why not?
If Your Boyfriend Says: It doesnít feel as good with a condom.
You Can Say: Iíll feel more relaxed. If Iím more relaxed, it will be better for both of us.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms are gross.
You Can Say: Being pregnant when I donít want to be is worse. So is getting an STD.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Donít you trust me?
You Can Say: Trust isnít the point. People can carry sexually transmitted infections without knowing it.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Iíll pull out in time.
You Can Say: I want to feel relaxed and enjoy this, and pulling out is just too risky. Thereís a chance I could get pregnant from your pre-cum, or we might get too excited to stop. And pulling out doesnít help much with sexually transmitted infections.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Condoms arenít romantic.
You Can Say: Being together like this and protecting each otherís health sounds really romantic to me.
If Your Boyfriend Says: It just isnít as sensitive.
You Can Say: With a condom you might last even longer, and thatíll make up for it. Or letís try a female condom.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Putting it on interrupts everything.
You Can Say: Not if I help put it on.
If Your Boyfriend Says: Iíll try, but it might not work.
You Can Say: Practice makes perfect.
If Your Boyfriend Says: But I love you.
You Can Say: Then youíll help me protect myself.
If Your Boyfriend Says: I guess you donít really love me.
You Can Say: Iím not going to ďprove my loveĒ by risking my health. Do you really love me? Do you want me to feel safe?
If Your Boyfriend Says: Iím not using a condom, no matter what.
You Can Say: Iím not having sex without a condom, no matter what. Letís not have sex.
If You Are a Virgin and Have Decided to Have Sex and Want to Use a Condom and Your Boyfriend Says: Just this once without it. Just the first time.
You Can Say: It only takes once to get pregnant. It only takes once to get a sexually transmitted infection. It only takes once to get HIV.
Don't be afraid of being rejected. Besides, a partner who doesn't care about protecting your health and well-being is not worth having sex with.